Chinese Political Activist Freed by Mysterious Caped Figure

Chen Guangchen- a chinese political activist who has been under house arrest for 15 months- has been rescued from China and flown to America by a mysterious cowled figure who swooped in and took him in the night, incapacitating the security agents tasked with keeping the human rights advocate captive.

The daring rescue by the unnamed caped avenger came just hours after a CNN camera crew who were accompanied by actor Christian Bale were forcibly stopped from meeting with Guangchen. The actor, who was in China promoting his latest film, attempted to interview the blind lawyer who has spent years fighting against the Chinese Government’s forced abortion practice. Bale was filmed being shoved and obstructed by plain clothes security officers and was heard to ask why he could not visit the man, express dismay about the draconian treatment of their prisoner and tell the security forces that he was vengeance, he was the night.

Bale on his way to the meet the imprisoned Chen

Later that night those same security forces were silently incapacitated by a lone assailants using jagged throwing blades, kung fu and an array of high tech military gadgets.

The chinese authorities have not identified the man since his face was partially obscured by a cowl, but they have described the assailant as roughly six feet tall with a low and gravelly voice (possibly adopted for disguise) and a cape that turned into wings.

One of the recovered weapons

When questioned about the incident, considering his previous involvement with the security forces, Christian Bale was initially unavailable for comment, having just had a bad fall at an impromptu skiing trip. However when we caught up to the playboy actor, visibly bruised from his fall but recuperating in the arms of an unnamed model and a copious amount of champagne Bale seemed incredulous and unaware of the unfolding news.

Bale told us; “A guy dressed up like that clearly has issues. To be honest I was just interviewing that guy to make myself look good. Actors have got to be seen to care, right? Well i’m not going to go up against the police just to interview some political dissident and campaigner, right? I’m not the hero type. I just hope they catch this nutjob in the cape. I mean, who elected him anyway? The masses who stand by and let corruption happen? Well that’s no excuse for one man standing up and becoming a dramatic symbol to shake people from their apathy.”

One of the few pictures of the vigilante

Earlier today Chen- a self taught and charismatic advocate and enemy of China’s Communist Party- described his rescue. Speaking through a translator he described how the masked figure materialized from the shadows, inspiring fear in the security forces who are used to wielding that fear against the innocent. After a brief fight Chen recalls how the man in black blew up a window and activated a kind of balloon that snagged on a passing plane, hoisting the two men into the air and freedom. Chen also added that their retreat was disguised by a cloud of flying rodents that his rescuer seemed to be able to summon.

Fellow actor Morgan Freeman who happened to be in China told us: “Some people have suspected Christian of being involved” The veteran actor laughed, “Mr Bale’s a good man, but it’s not who you are underneath, its what you do that defines you. And I doubt he’s the kind of man to dedicate himself to becoming a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a dark knight.”

FP