Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Exhumation of Arafat’s Tomb Unleashes Mummy

Efforts to exhume the body of the Palestinian leader, Yasser Arafat, from a mausoleum in the West Bank have faced a setback today as a bandaged, shambling undead monstrosity has emerged from the tomb, significantly interfering with Palestinian authorities’ investigation into whether Arafat was poisoned or not.

The mysteriously shrouded figure, who bears a striking resemblance to the possibly assassinated world leader has been sighted interfering with scientific equipment, summoning scarabs and chasing Brendan Fraser around the final resting places, though first hand accounts of the figure are scarce due to the unexpected sandstorm in the shape of a screaming face that has consumed the area ever since the team opened the tomb.

Despite being warned by an elderly, scarred middle eastern man, the scientific team, led by John Hannah, dismissed the talk of ancient forces and curses issued by Ra as ‘superstitious hogwash’ and proceeded on to the dig site so as to confirm or dismiss rumours of Israeli involvement in Arafat’s death. Though Arafat was 79 at the time of his death foul play has long been suspected

In 2005, the New York Times obtained a copy of Arafat's medical records from two Israeli journalists  According to the records, Arafat's illness began four hours after he ate a meal on the evening of 12 October 2004 inside the Muqataa presidential compound. According to sources close to Arafat, this meal was found to contain an unusual number of asps- a venomous snake, the milk of which Arafat is rumored to have drunk in private to maintain both his beauty and his hatred of Israelis

Though he was rushed to hospital, Arafat died shortly afterward and was (as his will demanded) embalmed, mummified, buried with all of his gold and servants and placed in a room full of boobytraps and deadly puzzles.However, mounting tension necessitated the confirmation of his cause of death.

Having opened the mausoleum the scientific team, led by several renowned adventurers, communicated to Palestinian officials at 11:09am that the expedition was going well and that they were about to open Arafat’s tomb. However shortly after a member of the party picked up a mysterious musty book written in an ancient language and read from it, communication from the team ceased.

Many experts are suspecting that the reading of Arafat’s full name (Mohammed Yasser Abdel Rahman Abdel Raouf Arafat al-Qudwa Al-Husseini) backwards is thought to be connected with the appearance of the shambling figure which is suspected of being responsible of reducing the scientific team to husks, as if the life had been drained from them somehow

Though several men with arcane symbols drawn on their faces have come forward to claim that opening the tomb will spell an age of darkness and chaos for the region, most middle eastern analysts remain confused as to how anyone will be able to tell the difference.


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