Friday, 30 December 2011

Jennifer Lopez Launches New Range of Ride-On Lawnmowers

Latina pop diva,American Idol judge, perfume manufacturer, record producer and clothes designer Jennifer Lopez has added a new enterprise to her revenue stream today as she has launched her own range of ride-on lawnmowers

Speaking at a press conference J Lo announced: “Every strong powerful woman needs to take pride in her appearance and the appearance of their lawns. I was sick of all of the sturdy, ill-functioning ride-on lawnmowers and strimmers on the market. I wanted something with a little glamour, a little sparkle; something for the diva in all of us. So i made my own. Today I unveil the future of sassy hip-hop gardencare- the TrundleCut S1300””

Though primarily known for latin tinged RnB, shaking her booty and being briefly married to rap and tractor mogul Puff Daddy/P Diddy (real name Christopher James Daddy), Lopez has insisted that her first love has always been large mechanical gardening equipment

“Ever since I was a little girl from the block, I dreamed of having my very own line of strimmers, electric hedge clippers, even hosepipe attachments. My dancing career, my movie career, my brief marriage to Ben Affleck; all that was a part of my long and circuitous plan to establish enough of a cache to launch this ride-on lawnmower. It has a 17.5 HP Briggs and Stratton Intek Overhead Valve Engine for superior performance , a hand operated hydrostatic drive lever that eliminates gear changes and provides effortless control and a 102cm cutting width with twin blades for efficient cutting of larger areas”

“It also comes with a free mulching kit. This is a top notch ride-on lawnmower. And that’s coming from the star of Monster-In-Law

Though market analysts predict that the Gigli star will face stiff competition from established brands like Flymo and John Deere, Lopez is insistent that she has the business savvy to crush her opposition and establish complete market dominance over the personal and industrial gardening world, citing her stratospheric rise to pop superstardom through savvy business and rump shaking as precedent.

J Lo has received widespread support for her venture into the world of driveable lawnmowers from her Hollywood friends. George Clooney, who co-starred with J Lo on Out of Sight has said: “She used to arrive on-set every day on a different kind of agricultural vehicle. I expected her to be a bit demanding, going by her reputation but she really isn’t and she can talk about the benefits of centrally mounted floating decks and anti-scalp wheels til the cows come home. I really learned a lot from her”

J Lo’s TrundleCut sit-on mower and her personally designed range of wheelbarrows will be available to buy from January 12th


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