Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Stephen Fry to be Displayed in the Museum of Yarmouth

Rotund homosexual wit Stephen Fry has been installed in the Museum of Yarmouth today and will stay in his luxuriously appointed case for one month before he is transferred to the next University or museum (which will be determined through a lottery system).

The QI host was officially deemed a national treasure by the Queen, the director general of the BBC and every person on twitter, and following his coronation as such last month he has been packed away on a tour of Britain wherein the public can come to bask in his erudite glow and ask him to talk about Oscar Wilde through a coin-fed intercom system.

What a lovely, clever fellow

The head of Yarmouth Museum’s celebrity department, Jonathan Wintercock has welcomed the temporary injection of Fry: “We’re honoured and delighted to be Stephen’s hosts this month. We’ve had people working around the clock appointing his enclosure in a victorian style which so many of our visitors equate with Stephen’s all-consuming knowledge, vast vocabulary and cheery girth. We have a private washroom, a private dressing area, a lectern, a hearth and a dedicated tweeting podium from which he can say quotable things or simply connect with his fans”

The Museum, which was the first to be selected via the Stephen Fry Visit Tombola- which will dictate all following installations- is expecting a sharp rise in the number of visitors. “Especially since every ticket comes with a code that might just win you the chance to be one of the guests for the weekly dinner party with Mr. Fry. After all, literally everyone in our humble isles has agreed that having him as a dinner party guest would be the highest honour a human could attain, so here’s their chance.”

Makes you proud to be British, doesn’t it?

Museum patrons Michael and Deborah Flock were effusive with praise of the exhibit; “I asked him about F. Scott Fitzgerald and he gave a superb potted history of the man, full of obscure facts and fun anecdotes. I mean, i was barely listening because I was too distracted by taking in the fact that he was talking to me, but I’m sure it was just marvellous. Deborah asked him about his atheist/humanist beliefs and he gave a wonderful oration- so self effacing. Even though we’re both died in the wool calvinists, we’re sure he’s quite right. I just wish we had him in a cupboard at home. Stephen for PM!”

When asked about the national tour and his contract which will see him encased in various prominent display cases for upwards of three years Fry replied: “Well, it’s all rather jolly isn’t it? at first I though ‘humblebum and falderall! this sounds like a barrowfull of malarky’ but the public seemed keen on the idea and I am but a humble servant of the doxa. I’ll try my buggering darndest to not be as frightfully dull as I know I am”

What an unfathomably decent chap.

Felix Prenderghast
Senior Features Correspondent

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