Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Racist Rant Video Shocks Those who Never Use Public Transport

A viral video of a woman on a tram engaged in a profane and racist rant with her infant son on her knee has sparked controversy among people who apparently never use public transport so aren’t completely numb to that kind of spectacle.

Recorded on the Croydon to Wimbeldon tram, the video has received thousands of hits, been circulated widely on social networking sites and -as was reported earlier today- led to the arrest of the woman in question even though barely informed racist shouting from mush-mouthed cretins is as easy to find as pissy smelling seats on any bus or train.

Not the rarest sight

The two minute long video featured the unnamed mother yelling things like:”This ain’t brittin no more. All these f**king polish and f**king nig-yoo-rag-woo-in f**kers comin’ ovah here and takin’ all our tram seats. It ain’t right. NO I WON’T SHU’ UP! Don’ cry darlin’ mummy’s jus’ shoutin at blacks, innit”. It is thought that the real impact of the video came from the presence of the young boy who sociologists are already comfortably predicting will be found guilty of a knife crime before the age of seventeen.

The furore and subsequent arrest of the woman is said to be puzzling commuters up and down the land who are said to be shocked to hear that spouting racial slurs at the top of your voice was not allowed on public transport. “You mean I could have had them all arrested?” asks Stirling based kitchen porter and bus user Michael Dunkly, “I could have filled a small prison-island by now. Wait, if shouting about immigrants is illegal on buses then what’s the legal status of urination, spousal abuse, shooting up or beating children? Because if that’s off the table I’ve got some news for my local constabulary.”

Dunkly continued; “I watched an obese, tattooed mother of three menace her six month old with a broken buckfast bottle while calling him a ‘paki’ because he spilled his juice. I saw that this morning. All I did was turn my iPod up and pretend to be engrossed in the Metro. You step over a Jeremy Kyle episode to get out at your stop. What am I going to do? Get knifed? Every day I watch people who look like they’re made from furious boiled ham and indian ink say horrible things about muslims. It doesn’t even register any more, like the taste of air.”

“So, just so I’ve got this straight, is it just on buses or trains, or are all the fuckwits I work with criminals too?”

This high profile arrest of a vocal racist is thought to unleash a flurry of copycat videos from commuters who honestly had no idea that anyone would watch or be shocked by the content of their twice daily journeys.

Felix Prenderghast,
Senior Features Correspondent

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