Wednesday, 18 January 2012

A Desperate World Turns To Wookieepedia

Millions of computer users from around the world have today engaged in a mad scramble for a reputable online source of knowledge since Wikipedia has taken itself down as a protest to the proposed SOPA legislation

Internet experts have claimed that the lion’s share of wikipedia users have migrated to the exhaustive star wars database known as ‘wookieepedia’ as a substitute for the user generated encyclopedia and are currently engaged in a desperate bid to glean some actual facts out of the morass of Lucas based mythology.

Desperate undergraduate university student Jemimah Devon told us, “It’s a similar format. People from anywhere with certain knowledge can make or edit pages. It’s a nearly incomprehensible store of information. It just has to be about, or at least be tangentially related to star wars.”

“But that’s alright. There are crumbs of real world knowledge in there. The parallels between Darth Sidious’s rise to power through the Galactic senate to Emporor of the Empire and Dark Lord of the Sith and the rise of Hitler is noted way at the bottom, so people CAN learn a little about twentieth century history by proxy”

“And the article on the vapaad style of lightsaber combat mentions its similarities to the martial art karate which it goes on to tell us came from Japan. See? We’re still learning. We can still find things out.I didn’t know that about karate.”

Unfortunately for the millions of students, teachers and curious people that have flooded the site the draconian editors of wookieepedia have been cracking down on the creation of pages that offer mostly non-star wars knowledge while including simply a few mentions of ‘mandalorian armour’ or a picture of Qui-Gon Jin to try to pass undetected while offering more generally useful knowledge

Wookieepedia editor DarthSarlac666 told us, “We’ve had a lot of people trying to put up articles about the Crimean war, claiming that it’s “kinda like the clone war or something”, or people putting up a piece on Da Vinci, but claiming he was “on the light side of the force”. We delete those. Wookieepedia has a very simple remit: all star wars trivia all the time. It’s a shame wikipedia’s down, but get your knowledge elsewhere. Leave us in our place. We don’t want your facts about Norman Mailer here.”

The need for a repository of wide ranging knowledge is in particular need since, under the advice of education Minister Michael Gove, schools around Britain are today scrambling to set most of the homework and tests for the year of 2012 today due to the “unique ability to gauge the actual knowledge of today’s students”

However, early examples of these tests have been deemed ‘lacklustre’ with most of the essay and even multiple choice tests being answered with large smeared pleas for the return of ‘computer brain’, with one test succinctly summing up the feeling: “wiki brain is ware the fax cum from. Turn back on make hurty thincing head pane go away”

In the meantime the twitter accounts of both Stephen Fry and Sherlock actor Benedict Cumberbatch are today being bombarded by general knowledge questions since ‘they seem like they know a lot of stuff’


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