Thursday, 12 January 2012

Geneva Convention “Doesn’t Say Don’t Piss on Corpses” Claims Soldiers

Several US Marines captured on camera urinating on the corpses of dead Taliban fighters have mounted a passionate defense of their actions claiming that there is “No place, no line, no single piece of legislation within the Geneva Convention that states that you should not piss on the still-staring eyes of a dead man while your buddy films it on his iPhone”

“Show it to me” demanded one of the accused Marines “show me the words and I’ll apologise”

The footage, leaked on the internet, shows several US Marines gathered around three unidentified bodies, emptying their bladders all over them in actions that Afghan President Hamid Karzai has described as “Totally awesome. What was the conflict called by you guys? Enduring Freedom? Yeah, you can tell. It’s exactly what this region needs at the moment. Thanks you guys.”

One of the Marines when questioned had claimed that the bodies had been on fire and that they were forced to extinguish the fire quickly before the flames and smoke gave away their positions. This testimony was undermined when another Marine testified that they were unaware of what they were urinating on and were shocked when an outside observer pointed out the three dead men splayed under their stream.

However both of these statements have been retracted upon viewing of the tape which clearly shows the discovery of the bodies, a brief discussion on how best to desecrate the dead and then the act itself, during which the men fired their weapons in the air, whooped and requested more water or maybe some asparagus.

Confronted by the evidence, the leader of the unnamed marine unit struck back, claiming: “So we can shoot them but NOT piss on them? Where’s the line?”

“Neither I nor my men were ever directly or clearly told not to relieve ourselves on the dead. If we had we would not have done this. As it stands we were left in the dark as to the suitability of our actions. Much like in the case of stacking prisoners in a human pyramid to take funny pictures we can only do what we feel is appropriate at the time and if these actions prove to be wrong then our behaviours are amended. You live and you learn. It’s an ongoing process.”

Senior military lawyers are divided over the issue, with some citing passages in the Geneva convention that do actually guard against the desecration of bodies while others have pointed out that the US has always used the Geneva convention as more of a ‘loose guideline’ since sometimes they like to use flamethrowers or cluster bombs or torture.

The Taliban have also condemned the footage as “shameful”. The Taliban.

Despite this Taliban spokespeople have claimed that the footage of US soldiers splashing warm piss on the faces of the dead will in no way incite them into further acts of violence, saying: “ Oh noooooo. Wouldn’t dream of it. That’s not what the Taliban’s about at all.Where on earth did you get that idea?”


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